just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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