I only kidnapped one of them. chill
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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