Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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