You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
