apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
