Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
