How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
