You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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