i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
