I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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