A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I got inside last night via doggy door
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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