I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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