i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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