I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
