Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
