My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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