is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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