My room smells like vodka and shame
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Found your dick twin last night
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
