i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
