do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
