piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
