I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
As shirtless as possible
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
