i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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