If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
