Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
