like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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