The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think my tv is drunk
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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