and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?