We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
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i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
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Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.