If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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