I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
