Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Found the puke drawer
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
