I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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