Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
