I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
im calling her cock vulture from now on
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
