I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
