two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
