pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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