I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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