Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
