My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
