Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
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Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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