bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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