thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize