Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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