Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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