I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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