you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
