I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am mentally ready for anal.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize