im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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