brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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