Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
