Are we in a gay sports bar?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
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we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
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I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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