Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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