Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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