Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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