He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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