S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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