I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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